"Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear...is fear itself. " Franklin D. Roosevelt CHALLENGING FEAR

Fear gets bad press in most healing and spiritual circles. Fear restricts. Fear limits. Fear prevents growth. Boogedy, boogedy, tremble and quake, fear comes from the Dark Side of Reality. Often we are challenged to let go of fear, and replace apprehension and doubt with love and abundance.

What happened to you the last time you tried to get over something that you were afraid of? How well does it work to stop using some addictive substance like alcohol, cigarettes or sugar, just because the doctor told you would shorten your life if you didn’t quit? Or how about realizing that the relationship or job you are in is killing you, and you need to move on? Does the fear of harm make it easier to take right action? On the contrary, once we realize that something is bad for us, most of us cling to it even more! How gruesome! What are we to do? What constitutes a right relationship with fear?

I believe that ALL emotions are barometers that help us measure where we are. When we designate “good” and “bad” emotions, we restrict the flow of messages that life is sending. Perhaps it is more helpful to be aware of the degree to which we respond to fear.

For example, we would be foolish not to consider the risks involved in reckless driving. But do we allow that knowledge to prevent our driving on the interstate? Carried to this excess we become phobic and are diagnosed as having an anxiety disorder. Definitely it’s not helpful to allow fear to run rampant and take over our life. But when not carried to extreme, fear of a driving fatality extends the gift of caution when we get behind the wheel.

We could probably all agree that taking any emotion to its extreme is limiting and unhealthy. What we do with our emotions determines how useful or harmful they are.

I am often reminded of a teaching about emotions which a wise Native American Shaman shared. The shaman said, “You have two hungry dogs inside of you. The one you feed is the one that grows. When you feed the dog named Fear, it gets bigger. When you feed the dog named Love, it gets fat and happy.”

We want to make some dogs our pet, invite them inside and keep them close. Other canines don’t belong in the house, but they make great guard dogs who bark like crazy if danger approaches. So it is with fear.

Have you developed a helpful relationship with your fears? How do we go about that? Try this: Imagine a situation in your life which causes dread. Now sit quietly, breathe deeply and allow yourself to float into a twilight meditative state. Focus on a blank space directly in front of you, maybe an empty chair. Allow your mind to “see” your fear embodied energetically, as if it were a “person” sitting across from you.

Now begin a dialogue within your mind by asking who, what, when and how questions, never why. Why questions put you in your rational left brain. If you had been able to reason why you were afraid, why you were stuck, why things weren’t working out, you would have changed it by now, wouldn’t you? In your conversation with fear, ask, listen, respond, take charge and set your boundaries for what you will, and will not, allow from this strong emotion. When you have worked out the conflict, thank fear for giving you needed cautionary information, and then get on about the business of living.

Actively challenging fear may seem weird and uncomfortable at first, but you’ll get the hang of it. Open your imagination just like Luke Skywalker did in Star Wars. “Use the force” and keep on believing in magic, which is nothing more than the ability to perceive things which aren’t immediately recognizable, and explainable, according to your five senses.

Einstein believed in magic. Frustrated by his inability to figure out how to split the atom, Einstein employed a similar sort of focusing technique, and saw the image of a snake biting its own tail. This symbolic picture, achieved through a decidedly right brain process, inspired Einstein to construct scientific theory. When we allow our attention to focus on the emotional energy right in front of us, and give our overworked rational mind a break, even mere mortals like you and me can gain surprising insight, just as Einstein did.

I recall working with a male client who achieved a huge Ah Ha! from his dialogue with fear. In a centered and meditative state, my client insisted that fear answer his who, what, when, where and how questions. In the process, he discovered that “fear” had its origin in his family, and in fact wore his mother’s face. He was shocked by the force of this startling awareness.

As a child, this gentle man had been taught that risk taking was bad. Unconsciously, as most of us do when we are children, he had accepted this belief. The result was a lifetime of frustration, and failure to reach his dreams. When he approached change, the parental voice in his head told him to be careful, and he backed down from a desired course of action. By establishing a right relationship with fear, over time he chose differently and was freed to progress towards his dreams.

How comfortable are you with the plus and minus emotions in your life? Who decided which emotions were good and which were bad? What would happen if you challenged fear and befriended the gnarly monsters that populate your psyche?

I like how it works out in fairy tales: A loving kiss turns the bad guy into a prince, and awakens the princess from slumber. Love IS stronger than fear. This story has a happy ending.